I have a dating site profile. It has been the source of two dates, bunches of messages and ENDLESS entertainment. You would not believe what some people will say to a complete stranger.
I’ve learned that keeping my expectations low = a decent enough date. Moderate-to-decent conversation and a meal. That’s all I ask. Impress me enough in the initial conversations and I might even offer to split the tab. (Don’t take me up on the offer though. Seriously.)
Wednesday was an abnormally busy day for me. I got the kids to school, went to the credit union to correct some paperwork, to get the puddle dancer a second pair of shoes, loaded three pieces of furniture in the truck and drove them to my uncle’s reupholstery shop outside of Charlotte. On the return trip I stopped by IKEA where I nabbed a Mikael corner desk and two Billy bookcases. I managed to hit the I-85 rush hour traffic PERFECTLY. I finally dragged my behind into the driveway, brought the furniture in the house, fed the kids and took the babysitter home.
whew
When I finally sat down in my chair and pulled up the site, the first thing I noticed was a new member in my area. I sent him a message that said “Hi, I’m Emily”. Then I told Jami what I’d done and she yelled at me (rightfully so. After countless hours of critiquing profiles and messages I know better than that) . So I messaged him again and said “Yeah…that was lame, sorry. It’s been a SUPER busy day and I’m tired.” We had an on-site IM conversation which I quickly converted to an offsite IM conversation (because every.single.time I turn on the site’s IM random stupidity splurts all over my screen.)
ANYway.
I’m really punchy, talking to THIS cute single dad when it happens. “Where are you taking me Friday night?” falls out of my mouth.
I never do that.
Not on the first conversation.
But I did this time. He handled it well, offering to take me bowling and then to Wal-Mart after midnight.
I told him I thought that was moving our relationship along a little too fast.
He brought up drinks. I agreed that would be A Good Thing ™. We ended the conversation with no specific plans and I didn’t think anything about it other than “WOOHOO! I get out of the house with a grownup Friday!”
Thursday came and went with no word from him.
Friday arrived. I had the day off, so I did the usual day off stuff – laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning. Went to the salon for my usual gray-hiding.
Still no word.
I started to pout. Crankypissy pout.
You would too! The alternative to drinks with him was leaf blowing, lawn mowing, and bathroom scrubbing. And furniture assembly if I still had any energy left.
I sent him a message through the site. Daylight’s quickly burning away, I have a lawn to find under those leaves and if we’re not meeting for drinks I need to GET BUSY.
No reply.
Fucker.
Fine. I go crank up the blower, make a pile for Joe to jump in and get the driveways cleared. Realize that I really need to get the tarp and drag the leaves down the hill. Get the laundry going and hang out with my boys.
I don’t know why it clicked, but it did. I hadn’t googled him yet, so I did.
Oh.My.Hell.
I found his full name, Facebook, OKCupid and PlentyOfFish profile, his flixter profile, a profile on American Singles, a bunch of gaming stats (he’s a member of The 420 Crew. Eew, nothanks) and…
an entry on Don’t Date Him Girl.com
He’s had the same ad running off & on since 2007. (That’s actually worse than being a member of The 420 Crew. Be original at least, for heaven’s sake!)
The more I read, the better I felt about staying home.