Alien barf for dinner

Looks tasty, doesn’t it?

Here, maybe this will be a bit better…

Still no?

Okay, okay. The “done” picture should thrill your soul then:

Doesn’t that look taaaasty? I ate three patties. The first one was a taste test – everyone in the house got to try a bite. The other two got salsa and lettuce.

So how did we get here? Thanks to the wonder that is the stumble button, I found Amy at Angry Chicken. More specifically, I found her Homemade Bean Burgers post.

I had beans, oatmeal, garlic, and stewed tomatoes. I didn’t have whole carrots, cilantro/parsley, or green onions. OR a food processor.

Yeah, you read that right. Missing half the ingredients *and* a piece of kitchen equipment I pressed on.

Oh – and I decided not to add the cumin. (Because I didn’t have any of THAT either.)

Amy said to drain everything VERY well, so I did. Tomatoes in the bottom of the colander, pour the beans over and let it sit while I wrapped my brain around the missing ingredients. I decided to go with carrot puree (I keep baby food on hand to make Daniel’s shakes with) and hoped it wouldn’t be too moist.

Then I googled “black bean burger” because I wanted to know what was similar/different about this recipe vs other recipes. The answer? Not a lot…so I moved on to figuring out how to get around the equipment issue.

The answer, of course, was staring me in the face…


The tatermasher.

I have boys, I have beans that need mashing, and I have this lovely piece of hand-tool awesomeness. There *might* have been an argument over who hasta help Mommy in the kitchen and who gets to keep watching TV.

Frustration helps when you’ve got a pile of stuff to mash, didja know?

I scooped them out of the bowl, stuck ’em in the waffle iron, and waited. Patiently.

Because y’all know I’m ALLLLLL about the patience.

Especially when I’m irritated over not having help in the kitchen.

Y’know how I mentioned I was worried about the mixture being too moist? So totally not a problem. The resulting patties were enough on the dry side that I chucked my earlier idea of sticking it on a bun. The good news is the salsa added JUST enough moisture back in.

(We won’t talk about the aftermath. WHOMP)