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On Not Renovating The House

  • Posted on October 24, 2011 at 8:00 am

My priorities have changed. I no longer have to spin my wheels, trying to decide mowing or laundry. Gutters or dishes. Reflooring or toilet scrubbing. How do I afford the desperately-needed kitchen makeover, do I powerwash the outside or replace the siding,

We have to move in the next year: There is a charming beltway project coming through. Although my property is not directly in the path of said beltway, it is inherently impossible for me to continue my quiet and private pseudo-country lifestyle.

Highways are noisy, after all.

And no, I really don’t have a choice in the matter. There won’t be a way for me to access the main road.

ANYways.

Now instead of (not) talking about maintenance and upkeep, I get to talk about decluttering and what goes in storage and shopping for a new house.

Requiem for a sofa

  • Posted on July 1, 2010 at 1:00 am

It was ugly. Not butt-ugly, but…didn’t go with anything else ugly. A dual-reclining heavy monstrosity that was a pain in the behind to clean under. Blue, with peach plaid striping and a pineapple in each square.

The sofa was in the livingroom when I moved back home from Little Rock. Like everything else that has happened in my life, that monstrosity was waiting for me. The armrests were the perfect height for me to rest my pregnancy-swollen ankles on and still keep an eye on Daniel. The dual recliner not only meant that I could change positions, but that Alannah could have a sleepover and they could watch TV and still have a place to stretch out and sleep.

The ugly meant that my heart was not shattered when something inevitably got spilled on it. I blotted the spots dry and every few months I would wield the upholstery attachment on the carpet cleaner, rendering it fresh-smelling and relatively un-stained (though nothing would ever completely remove the stain of my entire cup of coffee splashed across one cushion).

Me sitting on the blue sofa

This is one of the first pictures I ever let Daniel take with *my* camera. That was (is) my favorite position for reading – curled up against the armrest.

Daniel's favorite sick spot

When he was sick, Daniel liked to sit “in my spot”. (Yes, french toaststicks do make it all better, why do you ask?)

(Yes, the sofa was blue. No, I didn’t realize the difference in color tone in the pictures until after I’d started writing. Yes, I’m lazy enough to leave it. Daniel’s pic was taken with a phone cam, we’ll leave it at that.)

Alas, Mama did not love the Blue Monstrosity. It was too big, too heavy, too ughLEE, and didn’t match. (For the record, I agree with ALL of those points.) She declared that it should be relegated to storage and the “new” sofa installed.

I objected, highly. Yes, the sofa is big and heavy and doesn’t match. And my heart doesn’t break when something gets spilled. Yes, it may be YOUR house, but you NEVER spend time in the livingroom and WE DO.

I lost the argument, natch.

Daddy hauled it off one day and replaced it with a nightmare. He told me the Blue Monstrosity was safe, but wouldn’t tell me where it was. He hauled it off before I could clean it and wrap it in plastic, sealed with a kiss. (Smart man. He knew I’d try to bring it back.)

And then the accident happened, and our world was made of upsidasium for a while. We cleaned out The Big House – no sofa. We cleaned out the barn – no sofa. We cleaned out The Little House – no sofa. Finally, we made it to the garage at The Little House. There, standing on end was the Blue Monstrosity.


My heart lept for joy….until I touched the fabric. It has been out there for two years. Yes, it’s been dry…but remember, that sofa needed to be cleaned. I made calls – everyone wants to reupholster it until they find out it’s a double-recliner. Then the price doubles.

Yes, I already have replaced The Nightmare with something more family-friendly. No, I really didn’t have room for the Blue Monstrosity. That’s not the point.

Vaya con Dios, my friend. You were so comfortable, and I miss you.

I just wanted to go out…

  • Posted on July 18, 2009 at 12:37 am

The plan was for me to leave work early enough to get home and have a bite before taking the boys to the 7pm movie.

They didn’t want to go. The Spongebob Sponge Bash is coming on and WE CAN’T MISS IT MOMMY!!!

The plan became: get the boys in bed, slip out and find something to do. Cruise around the town with my camera.

My phone rang. The Teen’s car is in her friend’s driveway – dead. Please come NOW and bring the battery charger NOW and oh by the way we jumped it off before we got here. I went through the storage, looking for our charger and decided that it’d be faster to just go buy one.

On the way from the store it started raining. Heavily.

She said left when she meant right, she left a window down in the rain, she just wanted me to plug the car in NOW and go.

I popped the hood and shined my flashlight to the left. “See that shiny black wheel there?”

“Yes, Mom. It’s RAINING and COLD hurry UP and plug it in!”

“Baby, there’s supposed to be a belt around that wheel. It’s called an alternator belt. Plugging the car to the charger is going to be useless until we get a belt put on that car. If they need it moved, those boys are going to have to push it out of the way, unless you want me to call for a tow right now.”

I did say I wanted to go out…