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I flipped

  • Posted on May 1, 2009 at 6:01 pm
This entry is part 5 of 10 in the series atypicalrelationship

I knew/know codeine is not a muscle relaxer. My eyes narrowed and my back “got up”. I carried the bottle to him and said “explain. NOW.”

He shrugged and said “That’s codeine. What the doctor prescribed for when my back goes into spasm and it won’t stop.”

He could tell I was upset, and I was doing my level best to not yell/scream/storm off. He is not my first husband, he deserves the opportunity to explain.

(My first husband The Addict would take two vicodin and go to work. He was a gen-u-wine joy to live with.)

He went on to tell me that he only takes a half, when he “needs” it. The days that he “didn’t mean to” stand me up? were days spent in bed because the drug knocked him out.

I couldn’t keep the emotion out of my voice – my words were well-placed weapons designed to skewer, to wound, to flay. I’ve already BEEN with one addict, I’m not *going* to be with another, this is NOT codeine, it’s vicodin, it’s very addictive and THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TAKING IT BOTHERS ME A LOT. The fact that you’ve stood me up not once but twice on this stuff SAYS a lot about you.

He shrugged, helplessly. There is nothing to do. He has a legitimate prescription, I’m not going to count pills (again), if I want to be with him I’m just going to have to trust.

I left him standing there.

2 comments on I flipped

This is SO not worth it…

  • Posted on September 25, 2008 at 10:36 am

Kid does not want to get out of bed.

Kid gets pulled out of bed by me – and then noodle legs himself into the floor.

Kid gets picked back up by me AGAIN, landed on his feet, and gently nudged in the general direction of the kitchen. Noodle legs again.

My head explodes just a smidge, and I yell “Papaw YOU get him up, I need to get the OTHER kid ready for school” (Papaw’s response: to sit on his ass and yell “Kid? get outta bed!”)

I run and get Kid2 started on breakfast, snatch NoodleLegs up out of the floor and land a swat on his behind – which as usual results in an ear-piercing scream. You know the scream – the one that sounds like a serial killer just found a victim.

Said scream brings My Sainted Mama running “to the rescue”. She’s been in her room the entire time (as usual) and has absolutely no clue what’s been going on for the last 20 minutes. She picks him up, carries him into the kitchen, sits him down in his chair, and pours the milk over his cereal. And then stares at him in wide-eyed wonder as he noodlescootches his way out of the chair and onto the floor, leaving said cereal to turn to mush.

She put him back in his chair and tried to hand him his clothes – and of course he promptly dropped them on the floor.

She stared at him.

And stared.

And said “You’re going to miss school if you don’t get dressed!”

And I said “That’s the general idea, Sainted Mama o Mine. He DOES NOT WANT TO GO.”

I picked the pants up and put them on him. I pulled the shirt on over his head and slid his noodlearms through the sleeves. The lightbulb finally, blessedly flickered on in Mama’s head and she went to retrieve his shoes so I could finish putting the lunches in boxes and doublecheck backpacks.

~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the school year – mornings exactly like this one – are being looked at with an extreme distaste. They like being with the kids in their classes (up to a point). The homework is for the most part busywork – practice on skills they’ve achieved proficiency in. They have been out of school (sick) almost as much as they’ve been there.

I want to let them go back to homeschooling. I just don’t know how we can achieve that without my head exploding.

2 comments on This is SO not worth it…

Being a mom helps me be a better student

  • Posted on November 29, 2007 at 11:09 am

Picture, if you will, a child standing in front of a candy shop window, trying to make a choice.

Keep that picture in your mind as you watch an adult – the person in charge of whether or not you pass the class, as a matter of fact…

keep that picture in your mind as you listen to this person say “I want this paper to be 3-5 pages in length” and again as this person (no less than five minutes later, mind you) says “This paper should be ‘as long as it needs to be’”.

Yes, it’s incredibly frustrating. But do you stand up and scream “WILL YOU MAKE UP YOUR EFFING MIND ALREADY??!!??” at the kid in the shop window?

No. And neither should you scream it at the grown person standing before you. No matter how tempting it is.

Also? It’s better to drop the class and try again with a different professor than it is to “embrace the F” as I have in this one.

Do as I say, not as I do.

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