Dear Potential Blind Date:

If I offer to hop on your lap, you say “YES PLEASE!!! Where would you like to meet??!!??”
(not “You’d run screaming”.)

If I say “I have the next two days off”, you say “I would love to take you to dinner tomorrow night.”
(not “I haven’t worked in years”.)

Sincerely,

The chick who’s NOT going out with you.