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One of many issues

  • Posted on December 12, 2011 at 10:00 am

So I have this problem. I can’t seem to be able to throw papers away. Or throw…STUFF… away, really. It piles and piles and then I move the piles around and SAY I’m going to file it where it belongs…

You know the drill. Move the piles again. Until something important gets lost and I have to go through the piles to find it. And the piles, they are prodigious. Bills. Statements. Bills.

I burned out the motor on the shredder.

I cannot throw these documents in the trash. They have shred-worthy data on them. And I take the shreds and put them in the compost pile and then my next year’s garden will be nourished by a healthy helping of paranoia.

Except for the small problem of the shredder not working.

These things don’t need to be filed; I don’t keep records like I used to. I check my bank account daily, sometimes several times a day online. I’ve gone paperless everywhere I can, pay bills through the bank’s webpage and still the piles grow.

The icing on the cake? Oh, that comes in the form of the Stuff Mama left here for me to handle. Piles upon piles of paperwork with sensitive data on it. Tax returns from 1995 to 2007. Checking statements with cancelled checks. Book after book after book after book of check duplicates.

And then finally, the solution hit me.

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Proof positive that I was not entirely sane

  • Posted on June 18, 2010 at 4:00 pm

I have a delightful plugin for this site called This Day. As you might imagine, it lists all the posts available on the same date in the past.

Today, I actually took the time to click through the titles and read them. And shake my head and laugh, both at the writing and at my level of paranoia. I was so sure that if I posted *any* detail that it would immediately become apparent who and/or what I was discussing.

Case in point: Quotable Quote from 2004. Joseph was 10 months old at the time, nursing ALL DAY LONG, and I looked like this…

Yes, it’s awfully blurry. I refused to stand still for my picture to be made. Yes, I am wearing bike shorts WITH a bathing suit. No, they didn’t make bathing suits that would properly support the awesome weight of my saggy milkbags boobs.

But enough about that. In this post, I refer to two men that want to spend time with me. One wanted me to come to him, one wanted to come to me (but not spend time with my kids).

The first thing you need to know is that I have absolutely NO CLUE who those men are today. Paranoia caused me to sanitize out any identifying information, and I’m friends with LOTS of people who are “at least two states away”.

The next thing you need to know is that neither of these visits happened. At the time the thought of leaving my babies for ANY amount of time was enough to cause an anxiety attack. I had a hard time separating from them to go to the gas station, going out of town (or to a local hotel room) for a weekend was completely unthinkable.

To be completely honest, I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean….I KNOW what I was thinking (Men!!! They still want me!!!!) but still.

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Another Friday

  • Posted on September 12, 2008 at 11:08 am

I’m at home with my SPD kid today. He’s getting big-kid molars and that has wreaked havoc on his digestive system. Which of course, means that he’s completely forsaken pants and needs a shower every 20-30 minutes or so.

~~~~~

My Notes From The Universe for today says:

Emily… you’re not using all of your angels. What’s up with that?
Use all of your angels. Run faster, jump higher, get more.
Call, ask, give thanks.

Dear Universe, the children and I need a place to live that’s close enough for me to keep an eye on my folks (since we know my brother isn’t going to, lawdblesshisheart). This house needs to be in the same school districts we’re already in, it needs to have a big enough yard for the kids to play in, and be far enough away from my neighbors so they don’t flip my paranoia.

Dear Universe, the children and I could most definitely appreciate the company of The Right Man in our lives. This “all mommy all the time” stuff is gettin’ old. I wouldn’t think you’d need a shopping list of criteria (I mean…you ARE teh Universe after all, right? you *know* what we need) so I’ll leave that part up to you.

Thank you oodles and skoodles!

~~~~~

I think I’ve finally hit my stride in school. Classes are going well, I’ve changed my work schedule to better allow me to do homework. (Oh, and Universe? if Teh Right Man is doing well enough for me to quit my job and concentrate JUST on kids and school that would be fanfreakin’tastic.) Digging myself out from under the massive pile of clean laundry waiting to be folded might just take a while though.

~~~~~

Okay, time to get back to work. Y’all have a good day and love each other.

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Things my kids won’t know

  • Posted on January 17, 2008 at 1:30 pm

I got a bit of blogspiration from Play at Home Mom’s post, listing things her babies won’t know. My list includes:

The Original Unedited Looney Tunes cartoons on Saturday mornings.
Dot Matrix printers
Pong being THE video game
Vinyl albums
Pre-Elmo Sesame Street (oh how that rodent has ruined the show)
the Neighborhood Grocery
Wandering outdoors from sunup to sundown with nary a bit of parental paranoia.
Arena Rock (with a side dish of Hair Metal)
the 99cent theater
Riding in the back of a pickup truck

What’s on your list?

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