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Wobbling

  • Posted on May 3, 2009 at 1:02 pm
This entry is part 7 of 10 in the series atypicalrelationship

I call, he does’t answer. I text, he answers. My head explodes more. We do this dance for another month, with me trying to get him to talk to me, explain himself, make this right somehow.

Valentine’s day rolls around, and he calls. Invites me to dinner and “to talk”. It’s too late, it really is and I say as much and hang up. Curiosity overwhelms me, and I call back. No answer. I text, he answers. He came by the store with a smug grin on his face. Confident that just the sight of him would make me melt into his arms, I suppose. Earrings. He picked out earrings for me. Is that supposed to make me snap-to and drop my panties and forget what an ass he’s been?

He wrote Mama a letter. A grammatically incorrect, misspelled HORROR of a letter. A letter that made me suck my girlybits up and drop to my knees thankful that I did not get pregnant by this man. It said:

In the month of December, we came into an agreement to do labor on the house.  The set price for this job was around $9500 this was including price of materials and contract labor.  Since our agreement, you have been negligent in paying your bill.  In addition, I have had nothing but interference and delays on your part as the client.  You have paid $3000 on your bill.  You elected to end the verbal agreement on 2/6/09 for reasons on your part that were personal and not professional.  So through no fault of my own, I was prepared to finish job.  Therefore, I do not owe any money back. Cause materials were purchased for the job. Therefore, I have lost time and money because of delays and interference on your part. So I am sending u a bill for what u have paid. In addition what you owe for my time invested in job. As of my experience doing work for you. I will no longer being doing work for you in the future. I hope you understand that when you hire someone to do a job. You must let them do the job set forth as they were hired to do. Very little money was provided for this job and time was wasted. In addition there were many delays on your part., So through no fault of my own was I negligent on the job.

He sucks at grammar, he sucks at math. She paid him $5000. I want her to take him to court. She won’t, of course. It was an expensive lesson learned.

Dressing Room Madness

  • Posted on May 13, 2008 at 9:07 am


Dressing Room Madness, originally uploaded by MamasBloggin’.

It was time to buy new pants for work and shorts for the summer. I can’t wear anything from last summer, and my work pants are officially too big.

For those interested in the weight loss aspect, I cannot in any way shape or form tell you how many pounds lost – I do not weigh myself. When my clothes get too big, I buy the next size down. When my clothes get too small, I buy the next size up. However, I will tell you that when I went back to work (August 2007) my pants were a size 22. These reasonably decent-fitting pants are a size 16. I am not following a diet program of any kind – I eat what I want when I want it.

Also? I’m not frowning, I’m squinting – the lighting in there was painfully awful AND it was uncomfortably loud in that particular retail establishment.

Now that we’ve got the introductions out of the way, let’s just write a letter to the clothing manufacturers of the world, shallwe?

Dear Clothing Manufacturer:

I write to you today with an engineering challenge. Generally speaking, if I find a pair of pants that covers my bubblebutt, the belly is hanging out – and vice versa. I need a waistband that can handle both, since neither is going away anytime soon. I need a waistband that isn’t going to show the whole world my granny panties, and won’t dig TOO horribly into my belly (because really? all waistbands dig in.) Could you possibly get some Real Women With Curves into your fitting program? Waistbands like this should.not.happen. We can rebuild it; we have the technology.

Yes, I know I could probably pay a tailor to correct that small problem in the back. But Clothing Manufacturer? If I buy the pants, I don’t have money left over for tailoring. I may as well buy fabric and sew my own, and that’s a path that we simply do NOT want to go down!

So please, please. Have mercy on my coworkers and the rest of the world. Fix my pants.

Sincerely,

Emily

I feel much better now