I have not wanted to talk about the boys and their Issues and Diagnoses out of respect for their current and future privacy.
But I neeeeeeed to talk.
Mommyguilt. I haz it.
And let me preface this whole post by saying: I understand that we make the best decisions we can at the time we make them. While this is very much a hindsight-related post, I accept what I did and we’re moving on.
Mkay?
I’ve always known that Daniel was autistic. He’s always been highly functional, in his Daniel way.
And I was OK with that. I *am* OK with that.
But.
We didn’t do any psychological testing or IQ testing when he was younger. I didn’t want labels slapped on him, I didn’t want him thinking that he could use his Issue as an excuse. I did want him to be educated and well-spoken, to be kind to others, and to be happy. So far, we’ve got all those things.
But now, we’re at a place where… had I set up all those things with him as a child, we wouldn’t be in the situation we’re in now. (Maybe) The public school system really has no idea what to do with him. Or rather – our school has no idea what to do with him. When we signed on for public school, I was told that our school is THE school for autistic children in the district. After four years there, I can honestly say:
It is not the school for GIFTED autistic children, for highly functional autistic children.
He sits in the classroom at his desk, resigned and bored. He participates and verbally answers questions but writing makes his hand hurt (death grip on the pencil). And now we’re getting to the age where grades “matter” and his teacher has nothing to grade. His third grade teacher was STUNNED with his EOG scores last year (she wasn’t expecting him to make 4s). And I’m scrambling to help him get to where he needs to be.
I want to homeschool again. Put him in a private school. Something ANYTHING that’s not going to ruin him for liiiiiife.