Em and the Possibilities There are no guarantees in life…only the possibilities

So really, how did I get here? I didn’t grow up like this….clearly I’m “smarter” than this.

Come with me to 1989-1990. I went to community college straight out of high school. There was no graduation beach trip or any other type of holiday for me…

It started with a poor choice in handling burnout. Two semesters away from graduating from the local community college with an associates in accounting and the letters “CPA” after my name, I dropped out. Hindsight: I should’ve taken a semester off, gone to the beach for a few weeks, and come right back to it. What I did instead: dropped out of school and continued to work.

It continued with poor choices in employment. I couldn’t decide where to apply, couldn’t decide what I wanted to do “for the rest of my life”- so I went to work for a temp company. A friend accused me of “changing jobs more often than she changes underwear”. Assignments blurred together – I showed up at Monday’s job 30 minutes early, showed up at Tuesday’s job 30 minutes late.

I thought “working in an office” was a good job. It is, as long as you’re the boss. And as a 20 yr old with a serious case of knowitallitis, I wasn’t going to be the boss anytime soon.

“Unemployment” – that long gaping chasm between assignments had quite the effect on me mentally. It was depressing and upsetting and a large amount of time was spent sitting in the recliner, rocking and worrying. I signed up with another agency, thinking that if one couldn’t get me a job, another would. Wrong.

I stumbled through like this until I landed my first “real” gig. I started in reception and moved to accounting/invoices before I left. That job saved my sanity and drove me crazy at the same time. This job was my first taste of a 40-hr workweek, complete with healthcare. I got pregnant with my daughter while at this job.

The healthcare…it would have been quite a lovely thing, but they denied coverage of my pregnancy. The timing was off just a smidge – I got pregnant during my 90-day probationary period. My daughter’s father is not involved. Never has been.

And no. I’ve never received child support. For ANY of my children.

I left that job for another one, but it didn’t work out.

My friend at the temp company called me. She had a gig lined up. I ended up staying there nearly six years. It was a steady job with good benefits, but paid “entry level” wages.

I’ll stop there, for now. It’s enough.

Dear friends who live in The North:

Yes, I get it. You look at our snow freak-outs and laugh.

Here’s the thing. This laughable dusting is most likely all the snow we will get “slammed” with in 2012.

With snowfall at that rate, spending $$$$ on snow-removal equipment is not money well-spent.

Since we don’t have supah-dupah snow-removal equipment, it’s far safer to stay home. And let’s face it, it’s more fun.

(Yes, that really is a laundry basket as a sled. It works QUITE well. See?

)

I’ll probably be discussing this a lot more as the time comes, but…we have to move. The DOT is rather insistent upon that (and truth be told…moving is a lot better than having a massive highway in my front yard).

My first step is deciding what to do – exploring the options. So far they are:

• Buy property and move the house
• Buy a whole new house + land

You would think that having only two choices would make it easy, right?

WRONG!

If I move this house¹, I get to Do Work to it after it’s settled on the new land. The house was constructed in 1995 – which means the kitchen needs to be gutted and updated and it’s just about time to replace the siding. And the master bathroom needs an update. And the windows really should be replaced with energy efficient models. And the back door/french doors need to be replaced. And the rest of the flooring should be replaced.

And gallons and gallons of paint in the livingroom.

And the ceiling fan should be replaced.

But other than that, it’s FINE!

If I buy a new (to me) house, I get to possibly do all of the above plus more.

Looking at foreclosures has been an interesting exercise. On one hand, I’ve seen some AMAZING bargains in real estate. On the other hand, I’m afraid that I’ll end up with a house that the previous owner trashed before the foreclosure.

If I move the house, I’ll have to pay for storage of all Our Stuff ™ while the house is moved and set up and hooked to all the goodies.

TOO MANY DETAILS!!! TOO MANY DECISIONS!!!! OVERLOAD!!!

1. it’s a “manufactured home” y’all. Doublewide trailer but with sheetrock and a few “nicer” finishing details [↩]

In an effort to avoid repeating the less-than stellar moments of 2011, I am cooking “Good Luck” meals at least once a week.

Or should I call it “Amish/German”? Either way, the idea is the same:

Pork and sauerkraut. And bread. Sauerkraut brings blessings and wealth. Pork brings good luck and well being.

However, I cooked none of these things. I’m not in the mood for sauerkraut or pork. Period.

But not The End.

Instead, I made German cabbage and sausage with beef sausage. And now my belly is fuuuull.

And now I have a potential soup recipe as well. Because I can TOTALLY see pouring in a quart of beef broth and chopping the veggies a bit smaller and serving this as soup. Perhaps with potatoes and shredded carrots (for color).

Before we get into the recipe, I feel the need to talk about kitchen safety.

When your pan looks like this:

turning your back on it to slice the sausage will result in this:

or worse. The good news is I was right.there and smelled the oil. So don’t turn your back on your hot oiled pan, kids! Chop the stuff THEN put the oil in.

And now, the cast of characters:

See what I did there? instead of red cabbage and yellow onion, I flipped it. Green cabbage and red onion.

Also, beef sausage and garlic. It wouldn’t be cabbage and sausage without…sausage.

Since I’m the only one eating this pile of deliciousness, only half that head of cabbage will be used.

Okay, I wasn’t thinking clearly.

Clearly, I wasn’t thinking.

Didn’t shoot the sausages while they were in the pan because I was slicing the cabbage and onion and making a sad attempt at mincing the garlic.

See? sad. My knives need sharpening, and I don’t have a sharpening stone anymore. I had one….but there is no finding it right now.

(And let’s be honest. With my luck, it’s one of the many MANY things Mama tossed.)

Oh look! You turned your back on the frying pan again

Kinda sorta startin’ to look tasty, innit? It was here that I realized adding a brick o’ beef broth would make a FABULOUS soup.

Aaaaand this would be the point where that whole “flippin it up” thing bites me in the behind. There’s no color in the dish whatsoever, and if I shred a carrot the texture of the whole dish will be off. Also, this is the point where I added the sausage back in and stirred it up.

I wanted to serve this with noodles or potatoes. I stood there, debating….while the entire rest of the meal cooked. In the end, I decided that tonight, both would be extraneous.

German Cabbage and Sausage

1 lb Beef sausage
1/2 head of cabbage, shredded (about 1 lb)
1 large onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 T cooking oil (your choice. I’m not picky)

Slice the sausage and brown in the cooking oil over medium-high heat. Remove from the pan when browned to your liking and toss in the cabbage, onion, and garlic.

Cook the veggies, stirring/turning occasionally until the cabbage gets soft. I cooked mine for about 20 minutes, but I like it with a bit of texture.

Add the sausage back to the pan and stir.

Serve over noodles OR serve with potatoes.

Waaaaay back in 2003 I hopped a plane and came back home. In honor of that arrival, I considered doing what I did that day.

Somehow, dashing into the bathroom and being incredibly grateful to NOT be in the air or in the car (and puking my guts out) isn’t necessarily an ideal way to start the day.

Of course, I’m not dealing with hyperemesis and motion sickness as I was then either…

ANYways.

Time for a goals/resolutions checkin.

Diet and Exercise – I did well with the diet part, even in the face of Superbowl Snacking. Of course, having to work on Superbowl Sunday helped with that but who’s counting??!!?? Exercising went under the bus, though. By the time I’d recovered enough from working Superbowl Sunday to even CONSIDER getting on an exercise bike or treadmill, it was time to go back to work. Back in that saddle this week!

Develop Side Business I took my focus away from developing a side business and pointed it toward The Clutter Problem.

Clutter, and the removal thereof I’ve moved stuff around into storage. My room will be finished today.

The books, zomg THE BOOOOOOKS!!!! I’ve put books in a box and can’t decide whether to list them on amazon.com or to take them to the used bookstore. Listing them on amazon keeps them in the house until they sell. Taking them to the used bookstore might just net me a whole dollar per book. I don’t know what to do…

I had to declare Laundry Bankruptcy last week. My dryer’s thermostat decided to stop working, so I washed it all here and took it to the laundromat for drying.

providing the weather holds, of course.

Carrots, onions (red, white, green), garlic, beets, radish, and spinach. And maybe lettuce (depending on the varieties I have). And kale. Or kale.

I can’t decide if I want to plant broccoli and cabbage. Guess I’d better hurry up and make up my mind!

Once again, the vast majority of the garden will be in containers. I can’t really justify the cost of even renting a tractor, knowing that I won’t be on this property this time next year.

Today’s Good Luck Meal is in honor of our love of Chinese food. And also the fact that Jaden posts awesome recipes.

It’s the Broccoli Beef noodle stirfry. Which almost turned into broccoli beef and sugarsnaps and noodles. I only had a half a bag of broccoli in the freezer.

I actually *bought* oyster sauce so I could make this recipe and make it properly. And we’re using angel hair pasta because I found a steal of a deal on it and might possibly have purchased 10 pounds of it. And today? PICTURES!!!!!

Here’s the cast of characters:

And here’s another character forya:

He was doing homework and offered commentary while I cooked.

Beef. Sliced while mostly frozen. It was at this point that I realized that I would have to half the recipe – it calls for a pound of beef and that lovely was a thin steak – only half a pound. Which actually works out since I only have half the broccoli as well.

Noooooooooodles. I brought the water to a boil & let the noodles soften off the heat.

Doesn’t that look tasty? I’m so hungry…and I’ve just eaten!

While the beef was cooking, I went ahead and mixed up the broth, oyster sauce, and soy sauce. I love that little jar – I dunno if you can see the detail, but it’s got a 4 oz and 8 oz mark. It makes mixing/shaking just that.much.easier. And if you’ve paid attention to what I’ve written and to the recipe, you’ll realize what I did at this point – that’s about twice the amount of liquid that I need for the recipe.

Whups.

Beef. It’s whut’s fer dinner.

Broccoli’s turn in the pan!

Does that mean I have a hotspot in my pan?

And tossed back in the pan to mix and heat through.

Do I HAFTA eat it??!!??

He tasted it, declared it unfit for consumption and went to cook his own dinner. His brother, however, snarfed the entire bowl and asked for seconds.

Hello, lover.

Chinese Beef and Broccoli Noodles

3 tablespoons soy sauce
3 tablespoons oyster sauce
3 tablespoons Shaoxing wine, sake or dry white wine (I used wine)
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon tapioca starch or cornstarch (I used cornstarch)
1 teaspoon dark sesame oil (I only had regular, not dark)
1 pound beef sirloin, thinly sliced
1 pound fresh or 10 ounces dried noodles
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
3 large garlic cloves, crushed and finely chopped
1.25 cups chicken or vegetable stock
1 pound Chinese broccoli or regular common broccoli, cut into bite-size chunks or florets
Freshly ground black pepper
Directions:

In a medium bowl, whisk together 1 tablespoon each soy sauce, oyster sauce and rice wine. Add the sugar and continue to whisk until completely dissolved. Stir in the tapioca starch and continue stirring until smooth. Add the sesame oil and beef, and mix well. Marinate for 20 minutes. Drain and discard the excess marinade.

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Cook the noodles until 1 minute shy of done and drain. (We’ll finish cooking the noodles at the end)

Heat 1 tablespoon of the vegetable oil in a skillet or wok over high heat and stir-fry the garlic until fragrant, about 1o seconds. Add the beef and stir-fry until tender, 1 to 2 minutes. Transfer to a plate. Add the remaining tablespoon of oil and when hot, add the Chinese broccoli, stir frying so that the oil coats the Chinese broccoli. Pour in the 1/4 cup of the stock, turn the heat to medium-low and cover with a tight fitting lid. Cook the Chinese broccoli until tender, 3 to 5 minutes. Transfer the Chinese broccoli to the same plate.

Add the remaining cup of stock and the remaining 2 tablespoons each of soy sauce, oyster sauce, and rice wine to the same skillet and bring to a boil over
high heat.

Add the noodles and cook until the liquid has almost completely evaporated, leaving the noodles lightly moistened,2 to 3 minutes. Return the beef and broccoli to the skillet and toss to mix the ingredients thoroughly. Season with pepper to taste and serve.

So Cracked published an article titled The 5 stupidest habits you develop growing up poor and I wryly laughed as I read and nodded my head.

I didn’t grow up poor, but my children have.

First, let me be perfectly clear: I use the word “rich” with my tongue firmly in cheek. When I was growing up we had a nice house and my parents stayed married (another decision that I didn’t agree with at the time but now understand). My brother and I had our own rooms, sleepovers pretty much whenever we wanted, a decent-sized yard, bikes, cheerleading, and sports.

And I feel really lame for making such an explanation (compensation much?) but I feel it’s important for you to understand where I’m coming from.

It’s important for you to understand that this is NOT the way I was raised.

There is a sense of disbelief, of surreality that comes with going from rich to poor. Not just an “oh no, not that anything but that” but an “Oh. Yeah. That” as well. There is no cushion when life’s cudgel comes your way. It hits hard, it hits fast, and leaves you bewildered and stressed.

I became afraid to say “well at least I still have X” because as soon as the words came out of my mouth, X would be broken or missing or otherwise not-available.

I never had a problem applying for Medicaid (the children MUST be able to go to the doctor), but the need for SNAP (food stamps) and yes, even Welfare was met with foot-dragging dread.

They’re needs-based programs, right? And heaven knows, we qualify.

Except we’re taught, raised, indoctrinated in Bootstraps Theory. Get a job, do it well. Do what it takes to support your family.

Providing the information they require is truly an invasion of your lifestyle. Birth certificates, social security cards, copy of your lease/deed, copy of your paychecks, proof of child support (or proof of an open case), copy of your power bill. All of it. Just to prove that you’re poor.

Like it’s something we would want to brag about…

(In a Sociology class, I proposed an application kiosk a’la WalMart for benefits applications. Click to apply, let the government provide the data since the copies of your paychecks are already in an IRS taxpayer database, have an interview and be done with it.)

The stereotypes that come with government benefits…they are intimidating and terrifying. People feel they have the right to comment on your use of these benefits. They are “hardworking tax-payers” and you’re spending “their” money. People don’t think (or care) about how they sound as this stuff falls out of their mouths:

“She’s buying beer? Why is she spending money on beer when she’s on food stamps??!!?? How much of MY money is going to support that?”

“You know they have a large family so they can get more benefits! The Gov’mint should DO somethin’ about that!”

Yeah…the government should DO something. Like legislate what we can buy (Dear Senator: flour, sugar, eggs and baking powder do indeed make cake. Are you going to hand out cake pans, make sure the oven works, make sure that person knows how to bake?)

Have you heard of this concept??!!?? There are people who actually….PLAN…what they’re going to serve their families. And they make this plan for an entire WEEK! The mind: boggled.

So I decided to give it a whirl and wrap my brain around planning a weeks worth of meals. Honestly, it gave me a bit of a headache.

First I decided to get the boys involved. We need to eat healthier as a family, and we need to get through a rather interesting set of food issues. I’m going to have the boys keep a food diary, and we’re re-introducing a whole load of tastes and textures. We’re also discussing how foods can be VERY different but have things in common (pizza has sauce, cheese and crust. Spaghetti has noodles, sauce and cheese. See? two things in common.)

Then I wrote the meal plan down in my book, made sure we had all the ingredients…and we went for it.

The first thing that I noticed is…our plan cannot be set in stone, with the exception of the rare crockpot meal. Our schedule is subject to change at a moment’s notice these days: when “Hurry up and get your homework done so we can go to the Y” gets homework done inside of 30 minutes, you can bet your sweet bippy WE ARE GOING TO THE Y.

Hurdle #2 showed up on crockpot day. I decided to make mac & cheese in the crockpot. Great idea on the “get kids to try different versions of familiar foods” goal list, HORRIBLE idea on a day that I had to work.

I poured all the ingredients in the crockpot, told the sitter to lift the lid every 30 minutes and stir, and it should DEFINITELY be done by dinnertime.

I got home from work and was slammed in the head by the smell of over-browned cheddar. The sitter looked at the crockpot and said “oh, it’s still got three more hours to cook!!! The boys ate pb&j for supper!”

It was a burned, curdled mess in my crockpot. Turns out the sitter doesn’t know how to cook.

Last week was Chinese New Years. What better time to eat for luck?

The courage to actually COOK (as opposed to ordering takeout) came from Jaden Hair. Her Mother’s Famous Chinese Egg Rolls is the most thorough (yet accessible) egg roll recipe I’ve seen. Jaden was kind enough to post an entire list of Chinese New Year’s recipes, so I decided to combine that with my need to get the boys to try new foods.

When I decided I wanted to cook, the menu was going to be: Egg Rolls, Beef & Broccoollii noodles, and the Pear & Shrimp Stirfry.

See? Shooting for balance here, people!

And then reality kicked in. On a day where I spent most of the morning at the gym, then took the boys for their therapies and THEN stopped by Mama’s for a quick visit…a whole lotta cookin’ wasn’t going to happen. A choice had to be made… and it was made based on the fact that shrimp thaw faster than beef (I’d put the meat in the freezer to help firm it up for slicing…and then left it there. OOPS!)

So. The Fresh pear and shrimp stirfry for me, and pizza for the boys.

It was….delicious. Amazing. I was SO afraid that the shrimp would be rubbery (I’m paranoid about overcooked shrimp, y’all.) but it.was.perfect.

There is just one problem. The recipe says “serves 4 as a side”.

There ain’t no way. I ate the whole thing.

*burp*

Next week I’ll do the beef & broccoli and egg rolls. I might even take pictures!

And even if it fails massively, at some point I *will* try this:

Doesn’t that look like FUN??!!??

Yeah. I know. A girl can dream though, right?