The New Normal is taking some getting used to. I had experienced Life Without Daddy when I moved out of state, so it’s not quite the shock to the system that you might think. I still catch myself before the words “Boys, go FIND YOUR PAPAW” fall from my lips.
The yard has been cleaned up. It is beautiful and strange all at the same time. The junk that is missing was well and truly junk and we’re better off without it cluttering up the property. Those things were My Daddy’s and he should have a say in what happens to it. And then Reality intrudes: it took a friend and his four-man crew the better part of two days to sort through, recycle, and otherwise dispose of it all.
The Wake and The Funeral were surreal. It was a celebration of….the part of My Daddy’s Life that I wasn’t allowed to participate in. I bit my tongue, I dug my nails into my fingertips, and my mantra became “This is why I refuse to participate in this culture”. It did make me glad for my classes in sociology and anthropology – I was able to shift into observation mode and distance myself from the culture in action.
No textbooks have been touched during the last week. I had planned on going back to school today, but just couldn’t. Maybe on Thursday. Have to.
Thinking of you.
Thank you so much, Leigh.
I can’t think of anything even remotely adequate to do or say. I’m so sorry.
I. LOVE. YOU.
micheles last blog post..Help feed homeless women in High Point
I love you too, baby.