Hey it’s good to be back home again…

I know this update is ridonkously late. I got home late Sunday, had another run-in with The Teen Sunday night (that kept me awake til 4am), taught a class on Monday and then came home to argue once again with My Sainted Mama. She had asked Mr. Honorary Doctorate at her church what he knew about homeschooling, and he told her all about traditional home schooling. (For the record, Mr. Honorary Doctorate is/was a high mucketymuck at a christian school – so you know he’s QUITE knowledgeable about homeschooling. *cough*) (Also? I completely and totally disrespect his cheezy correspondence school HONORARY doctorate. I think it’s an insult to the people who actually WORK for their degrees and I WILL NOT CALL HIM DOCTOR.)

*ahem*

I walked in the door and Dan told me he wanted to go to school because “Mamaw told me about school and it sounds like a LOT of fun!” I went to her room (because she STAYS in there, y’all) and said “Can you explain to me why YOU are talking to him about school before *I* can??!!??” And then my head exploded.

I had already decided to close my homeschool. Official Testing needs to be arranged, physicals and waivers and appointments…I’ve been trying to get it all taken care of before the end of the month.

BUT since Mr. Honorary Doctorate says that A Traditional Homeschool has a specific place and a Traditional Curriculum to follow, and since I’m not DOING that, I’m doing it WRONG and she is going to put her foot down and stop this RIGHTNOW. She does not understand/comprehend WHY in the WORLD I would turn down her offer to pay private school tuition (at the school of her choice).

And then she trotted out All Of My Sins. I’m lazy. I’m on The Internet too much. (No, she’s not interested in finding out WHAT I do on the internet.) Those Kids Deserve Better. If I had those kids in Church, this wouldn’t be a problem. (Yeaaaah, because going to Church means you’ll never have problems). If you hadn’t homeschooled The Teen, she wouldn’t be having problems now.

Somewhere along the line her voice turned into the teacher on Charlie Brown. wahhWAAAAH waah waaaah wah wahahaha.

Today I printed out a script for her. It said:

Since you’re obviously having problems with it, I thought I’d give you a script to follow:

Emily, I am sorry.

The next time I have a problem with you, I will talk to you about it. I realize that talking to everyone BUT you about an issue that I am having WITH you is not constructive.

I realize that talking to DOCTOR* Honorary Doctorate about your home school was wrong, since he does not (nor has he ever) run a home school.

*Please note that your daughter does not in any way, shape, or form respect Honorary Doctorates. Nor does she respect the opinion of anyone willing to give advice on a situation without actually UNDERSTANDING the situation.

She threw it in the trash.

I’m moving ASAP.