Mom came out of her room with A Purpose. Stepping into my line of sight, just enough that I’d have to painfully, achingly, slowly turn my spastic back to see her properly, she spoke.
Today is a Very Important Day. I want to ask you a question, and I’m going to write your answer down in my Bible. Do you know today that if you died today that you’d go to Heaven?
Mom does this every now and then. Something happens that rattles her world to the core, and suddenly my salvation becomes something SHE has to guarantee. The concept of a “personal” relationship with the Almighty is brusquely shoved aside in her determination to bully compel me to snap-to.
I answer “Yes, I’m quite sure I’m going to heaven” and her jaw drops. She argues with me; she all but calls me a liar to my face. Because I haven’t darkened the door of a church in aeons, it’s a foregone conclusion (to her) that I’m on an oil-covered Slip-n-Slide straight to Hell. She cites the growth of her church as proof that it’s The Right Thing to Do. I point out that while her church is growing, it seems to be due to the closing of smaller churches of her denomination – when you look out into the audience, it’s mostly people her age and older. There are no people my age; they are either young and still in the grips of Parental Control, or they are much older and essentially brainwashed. She says “ANY church. Just GO.”
You will be pleased to know that I refrained from offering to attend services with one of the “unacceptable to Fundies” religions.
She asks why I don’t read my Bible. I ask why she reads hers so much – at what point does it go from “study” to “idolatry”? Her jaw drops again – you’re “supposed” to read the Bible. I ask at what point Jesus of Nazareth spoke perfect Shakespearean English…
As is our custom, she walked off, muttering under her breath. It hasn’t been brought up again.
Ah, yes, I run into periodically. Lately, alot, I think because I now have the kiddo. I have attempted to explain to my mom that I just dont like CHURCH, which you would think she would know, as Ive loathed church since I was a kid.
She’s going to go through the roof when I actually tell her Im pagan.
I do believe that will give a whole new definition to “Fireworks”.
I leave that little box unchecked. No sense in shoving her over the edge, yanno?
you’re probably right, but her face when she “casually” suggests that we all go to church..like she’s just WAITING for me to sprout fangs and horns and yell “I WORSHIP THE DEVIL!” makes it just.so.tempting.
the fact that I married a buddhist means they keep expecting the worst, anyway.
I know you’re not going to want to hear this… but here goes: I understand the heartache and sense of urgency your momma feels. It might not seem this way to you, but it’s an amazing gift to have a mom who knows and loves Jesus and who loves you enough to want you to know and love Him, too. I thank God for your momma.
OK, you can yell at me now. I can take it.
Smooches,
CM
No yelling I promise. At issue isn’t Mom’s love of Jesus or even her desire for me to know and love Him. It’s her absolute, binary, right/wrong attitude.
I don’t worship the same way she does, therefore I MUST be wrong.
[...] was a light blogging month since I started the Fall Semester at school. Mom wrote things down, I found some things, and wrote [...]