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The calm after the storm…

  • Posted on June 17, 2007 at 11:11 pm

Time to cool off is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?

My daughter is fourteen years old. We have homeschooled since she was eight – and I taught her to be independent, to think for herself. To do what she thinks is right.

This causes us to butt heads more than I would like. A LOT more.

She is, however, an awesome person, and I’m glad that I’m here with her as she grows up. And as much as it chaps my rear (I hate arguing, I really do) I have to not only respect that she’s growing up, but I have to stand back and watch as she flaps her wings. I’m also reminded of the things I used to say to my own mother. You know I’m cranky here and now, can you imagine what I was like at 14??!!?? Here’s a hint: I used to sing this song to My Mommy

I don’t need you to worry for me cause I’m alright
I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to come home
I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, and leave me alone

Yeah, g’head and laugh. I am.

A letter to my Teenaged Daughter

  • Posted on June 17, 2007 at 3:54 pm

Dear Daughter:

I realize that you are pissed at me right now. Well guess what? It’s about to get a lot worse.

These things are a privilege: the TV, VCR, and DVD player. The boom box (that belongs to your grandmother, I might add). Your cell phone. Internet access.

As of right now, your computer usage has been strictly limited. Those two hours of unrestricted access are now gone. Websites have been blocked. I left The GIMP on the computer since it is open source – you’re welcome. (Although I don’t really know WHY I left it, since *my* digital camera took a swim in the creek at the hand of the friend you threw under the bus. Did she REALLY drop my camera, or did you just blame her?) I have also put the computer on administrative lockdown – you will not install programs without my approval.

The mp3s that you downloaded and got from friends have been deleted. You may keep the cds that you have burned so far, and you may listen to them on your personal CD player. You’re welcome. (Oh, and PS – some of your more obnoxious screamo burned CDs may mysteriously find themselves in the sandbox, getting scratched all to shit.)

That ipod you wanted so badly? Earn the money for it.

The telephone jack in your room has been adjusted. You can plug any phone into the wall jack that you want – it simply will.not.work.

I have repeatedly asked you to set the sleep timer on your TV so that it turns off. That didn’t happen last night (since I very highly doubt you were REALLY watching what was on the TV when I go up to pee) so expect the TV to go byebye soon. I realize you don’t watch videos that often, so losing the VCR won’t hurt too badly. The DVD player will do admirably in the livingroom.

Your new cellphone is inactive, a victim of your own freespending ways. I will no longer purchase minutes for you over the internet. If you want minutes, pay for them yourself. Keep in mind that if you do not have cellphone minutes, I will NOT be giving you a ride to social functions. No cell = no go. Your constant reminder that “If you don’t take me, I’ll walk” is becoming tiresome. Go ahead and walk – I’ll be quite happy to ask Officer Friendly to bring you home and explain the ways of the Law to you. (Specifically, the part about you = minor and me = The Boss Of You.)

If you’re going to be an asshole to me regardless of what I do or don’t do, then I choose to NOT let you have these privileges.

Love,

Mom

Happy Father’s Day

  • Posted on June 17, 2007 at 10:59 am

To the men whose genetic contribution has made my life so much more rich: I thank you. While your lack of involvement in our lives bothers me at times, it is very much balanced by the knowledge that I don’t have to make excuses for why you’re late or didn’t show up. If it were within my ability to drop the child support cases, I would – but my children’s current medical coverage requires that I cooperate with Child Support Enforcement.

Upon rereading, I do realize that some of you will think this is a bitter post. Quite the opposite, in fact. I am really, truly, honestly grateful.

Free AssociMuttering

  • Posted on June 17, 2007 at 9:28 am
  1. Riding :: wild horses
  2. Actress :: drama
  3. Flowers :: lily
  4. Making :: love out of nothing at all
  5. Robot :: porn
  6. Enjoy :: the silence
  7. Identify :: yourself
  8. 22 :: catch
  9. Busy :: signal
  10. Forward :: backward

Now you.

True, so very very true…

  • Posted on June 15, 2007 at 7:05 pm

Scuse me while I bust a gut laughing….

Duelling Noisemakers

  • Posted on June 14, 2007 at 11:32 am

Joseph is playing with the bullseye bounce and roll.

Daniel is playing with the pinballgame.

Every so often they trade places, yet neither game shuts off.

Anyone want to place bets as to how long it takes before Mommy has a headache?

Just in case you were wondering…

  • Posted on June 13, 2007 at 4:27 pm

The thorn in my side is definitely stress-related. Frustration, to be specific.

Unfortunately, decreasing the stress levels any further isn’t likely to happen in the immediate future. If I’m going to finish my degree anytime soon, I need to find better ways to cope.

pulling up my Big Girl Panties and pressing on….

A point to ponder:

  • Posted on June 13, 2007 at 4:13 pm

Wonder what you get when you mix The Spoon Theory with the freebase pancakes

Mommy, where mine Daddy?

  • Posted on June 13, 2007 at 10:01 am

I don’t know, sweetheart. Your Papaw’s at work, though.

But where mine DADDY??!!??

Not here, honey.

Hims working with Papaw?

No, sweetheart.

Oh. Okay.

This conversation brought to you by an almost 4-year old, and His Mommy. Notable mostly because he’s never MET the man responsible for his genetic contribution to my life.

Happy Birthday to Me, the early edition.

  • Posted on June 12, 2007 at 5:44 pm

I sent my daughter to Florida for a week with a friend. She went with my blessing, and my usual birthday monetary gift from The Folks ™. Mom gave me her World Famous Quirked Eyebrow glare, until I explained:

Are you kidding? An entire week without “Mom, I need a ride/money/sleepover” or “I don’t want to talk to YOU”

It hasn’t worked out that way. Quite the opposite, as a matter of fact. I asked her to call home and check in nightly…and each phone call has been with a different monetary request. She wants to go to the Warped Tour. She needs more minutes on her cellphone (because even though I TOLD HER that SMS costs money, she kept sending texts.)

Coming up with acceptable retribution punishment shall occupy my next few days, I do believe.

(My birthday isn’t falling on Father’s Day this year for a change. Hooray?)