I know I’ve been gone for a while, what with my own schooling, the kids’ schooling, and whatnot, but I came back on this, my Armchair Mama day – to find crap. Absolute crap. Who hired all these people, and WHAT were they thinking??!!??
Semi-Homemade? This woman killed a good 15 minutes yammering, and 15 minutes making recipes that I can find at any halfway decent church bazaar. I want what she’s smoking. Scrapbooking does not combine well with food, honey – and….why is she mixing drinks? This is…a cooking show….isn’t it? Did I just enter the twilight zone? This is supposed to be a baseball tailgate. Why is she serving philly cheesesteaks wrapped in a *thin* strip of parchment paper? with *shrimp* skewers?
I now understand the concept behind the Rachel Ray drinking game – you’re so plastered in the first 5 minutes that you don’t give a rip about the rest of the program. Her voice…I’m quite sure it’s used on school buildings when the sandblaster won’t get the graffitti off. A garbage bowl? you can’t afford a trashcan? Now I understand why people are boycotting each and every box with her face plastered on it. How the hell did this woman rate an hour and a half of your programming??!!??
Michael Chiarello? I love you. Please dear god in heaven – if they want to change your show, PROMISE me that you’ll quit.
Paula honey? I have to admit I hated that they stuck a Georgian into a Kentucky accent (I freely admit to being somewhat picky about how the southern accent is portrayed in the media) but I love that you still have your “down home” ways for the most part on TV. It’s nice to see that you’re still presenting deep-fried goodies. I’d love it if I could see a lil less of you though. (I know, a fat chick snarking a fat chick, right?) But really, honey – since you got married, your figure’s taken a significant hit and I’m QUITE sure you’re better able to afford a gym membership than I. (Also? I’m REALLY glad that Michael Chiarello follows your show – he’s a nice, pleasant, palate-cleansing chef.)
Ina Garten, I’m not sure how the name “Barefoot Contessa” fits into your whole schtick but you rock. Ditto what I said for Michael – quitting is preferable to having your cooking (and therefore integrity) compromised.
Dear FoodNetwork, I want you to know that after today, I won’t be watching you anymore. I have my DVR set to record Good Eats, but even that is most likely going by the wayside now that I can buy the DVD collection. Good luck chasing your market…whatever it is.
Invectively,
Emily
ina garten is the coolest thing on earth. what do you like about her most?
Oh Ina, how do I love thee–let me count the ways.
Her food is elegant, yet approachable.
Her techniques speak of experience
-efficient, confident, professional.
Her voice…ah her voice is a balm to my soul.
I wish my children would eat this food.