Em and the Possibilities There are no guarantees in life…only the possibilities

Subtitled: My Weekend Recap/Update

Friday:
Never.Ever.Again.

Never.

Ever.

D’ya hear me? NEEEEEVVVVVAAARRRRR!!!!

Will I stay at SciWorks when there are more than two school buses in the parking lot. I’d been promising the boys we’d go and then we had the “armchair mama” week. We (wisely) went out for a walk in the “forest with a paved path” (the Environmental Park) when we got there.

I don’t know what was worse – the schoolkids who ran from point to point yelling “this is laaaame” or the chaperones pushing the kids to get in line, hurry up, you’re going to miss all the fun stuff inside. The ducklings? Breezed right past. The deer behind a fence? Leaves from a tree shoved through the holes in the fence, and then gone. The otters? Wow that’s cool. What’s next??!!?? Butterfly garden? Herb garden? How and Why you should Compost? boooorrriiinnnggggg.

Finally, we’d walked all we could and headed inside to battle the throng. Since the Folk Toys exhibit is going away soon, we went there first and basically did the “tour” backwards. I did nothing but swing my head while we were in there – trying to keep an eye on my boys and keep them from getting mowed down by the older kids. FINALLY, they’d had enough and we left for the promised fast-food trip.

Except…

Daniel was making his shrill “I don’t feel good” noise. Assuming it was because we’d waited too late to eat lunch, I handed him his nugget box and said “no fries til those nuggets are GONE.”

He took one bite, leaned forward, and barfed.

I scuttled the plans for the rest of the afternoon, and we went straight home. Tossed some CPF diapers on the wet spot, and got him cleaned up and sippin’ on a sprite. Went outside to finish cleaning up the mess and realize…it’s time.

Time to steamclean that damn nasty carpet in the NottaVette.

To be completely honest, I don’t remember if I pulled the seats out Friday or Saturday. Those days are a blur of butt-wiping, begging Daniel to take just ONE MORE sip of koolaid/soup/whatever.

I got sick Saturday afternoon. Good news, I don’t have it nearly as badly as Daniel does. Bad news – I still end up spending 2+ hours in the bathroom because I was literally afraid to move. Finally, it eases up and I move gingerly to the livingroom.

Joe slept the night through in his own bed Friday night, but crawled in with me at 3AM last night. With wet pants on. >.<
Obviously, bedding played a starring role in the 6 laundry loads of today.

Today Dan looked like he felt better. I got him to eat some jello, waffles, and go outside for some fresh air while I FINALLY got to clean the carpet in the van and get started on re-installing the seats.

He got sick again at bedtime, so I’m thinking acidophilus powder and a trip to the Dr. on Monday is on the schedule.

Dan picked up a stomach virus at SciWorks on Friday and is just NOW settling down to more normal. I got sick Saturday, and well…it’s just been a sucky weekend.

Not as sucky as Holly’s weekend, but bad ’nuff.

I’m well today, but 6 loads of laundry, running the carpet cleaner in the van, wiping down and reinstalling the seats, and generally de-germing the house have left me just a wee bit exhausted. And the night is yet young…

Please remove our family from your mailing lists. It’s quite obvious that you are Not Selling To Me.

As any reader of this blog is aware, I have three children. One teenaged girl, one almost-school aged boy, and one preschool boy.

Whilst flipping through your catalog and making my “want list”, I happened upon the section marked “Character Building”. Since I am a Character, I would prefer my children also learn to be Characters.

You can imagine the look on my face when I saw four (count ‘em one, two, three, FOUR!!!!) pages of your catalogue dedicated to being a chaste, gawd-fearing woman capable of raising similarly chaste, gawdly children. Can you explain to me why you only carry one BOOK similarly geared toward boys? Not one page of books. ONE BOOK.

Don’t boys need to be chaste and gawdly as well? What were you thinking?

Packaged Curriculum Seller, I want you to know that I’m a firm believer in equality. My boys scrub floors and put their clothes in the hamper (Future Daughters-In-Law, you’re welcome!); my daughter knows how to run a cordless drill and check the fluid levels in the vehicles.

Taking my business elsewhere,

Emily

I’m moving slowly, carefully, eternally grateful that I learned to plie. The boys want to go to the park, but right THIS minute, I’m not *that* mobile. Maybe later today.

The great debate rages internally. The Folks ™ and I need to have a conversation, but I’m fairly convinced it will be wasted breath. The armchair psychologist in me says “People have no tolerance of their own behaviors when displayed in other people”.
A goodly amount of time is spent in her chair watching TV, reading, doing crosswords. I’m not quite sure how that behavior is any different than mine yesterday – except for the unavoidable “HEY DON’T JUMP ON ME OWOWOWOWOWOWOW” that having two very active kids necessitates.

We shall see.

I know I’ve been gone for a while, what with my own schooling, the kids’ schooling, and whatnot, but I came back on this, my Armchair Mama day – to find crap. Absolute crap. Who hired all these people, and WHAT were they thinking??!!??

Semi-Homemade? This woman killed a good 15 minutes yammering, and 15 minutes making recipes that I can find at any halfway decent church bazaar. I want what she’s smoking. Scrapbooking does not combine well with food, honey – and….why is she mixing drinks? This is…a cooking show….isn’t it? Did I just enter the twilight zone? This is supposed to be a baseball tailgate. Why is she serving philly cheesesteaks wrapped in a *thin* strip of parchment paper? with *shrimp* skewers?

I now understand the concept behind the Rachel Ray drinking game – you’re so plastered in the first 5 minutes that you don’t give a rip about the rest of the program. Her voice…I’m quite sure it’s used on school buildings when the sandblaster won’t get the graffitti off. A garbage bowl? you can’t afford a trashcan? Now I understand why people are boycotting each and every box with her face plastered on it. How the hell did this woman rate an hour and a half of your programming??!!??

Michael Chiarello? I love you. Please dear god in heaven – if they want to change your show, PROMISE me that you’ll quit.

Paula honey? I have to admit I hated that they stuck a Georgian into a Kentucky accent (I freely admit to being somewhat picky about how the southern accent is portrayed in the media) but I love that you still have your “down home” ways for the most part on TV. It’s nice to see that you’re still presenting deep-fried goodies. I’d love it if I could see a lil less of you though. (I know, a fat chick snarking a fat chick, right?) But really, honey – since you got married, your figure’s taken a significant hit and I’m QUITE sure you’re better able to afford a gym membership than I. (Also? I’m REALLY glad that Michael Chiarello follows your show – he’s a nice, pleasant, palate-cleansing chef.)

Ina Garten, I’m not sure how the name “Barefoot Contessa” fits into your whole schtick but you rock. Ditto what I said for Michael – quitting is preferable to having your cooking (and therefore integrity) compromised.

Dear FoodNetwork, I want you to know that after today, I won’t be watching you anymore. I have my DVR set to record Good Eats, but even that is most likely going by the wayside now that I can buy the DVD collection. Good luck chasing your market…whatever it is.

Invectively,

Emily

Given my currently “semi-abled” status, I thought I’d write a bit about The Spoon Theory. Written in an effort to capture a “What’s it like to be chronically sick” conversation between friends, the author does a magnificent job putting forth an easily explained scenario. While I live a reasonably “normal” life, days like today highlight, underscore, bold, and italicize how fortunate I am that the Very Bad Days are rare.

Like most Moms, I’m not so good at paying attention to my own needs when Thing One and Thing Two crack open the party box. (“But what good’s a house without any Things in it?”) Having a day like this pretty much forces me to pay attention – one wrong step and I might faceplant – possibly landing on a rugrat or two in the process. It also makes me double- and triple-think the “clothesline to save on electricity” stance. I also realized I need to gear up for a freezer cooking session – I’ve let that slide horribly. We have plenty of convenience foods, but no “meals” that can be easily assembled for when I can’t stand and cook. Holly, come visit so we can cook, woman!

We’re also running rather low in the “sympathy/respect” department at Chez Emily. Sympathy – I pretty much know better than to expect that. Respect, however, is an entirely different animal. I realize that you’re not in my body and you don’t KNOW what it feels like. Yes, it’s frustrating me everso slightly. It doesn’t take much to acknowledge, accept, and move on with Plan B for the day, I promise.

The only thing marring the perfection? He wanted me to pick up Thrillville so he could build rollercoasters again and actually “ride” the coaster. I’m thinkin’ that’ll be a Christmas present though, since I don’t have $200 to blow on a system and games right now.

We went and picked out new sandals, went to The Evil Empire and browsed the toy section. Surprisingly, I escaped with only a $40 dent in my budget – and $15 of that went towards the Spongebob Cupcakes he picked out. (Yes, I let my kids pick their birthday gifts AND cake. I can’t afford “surprise” gifts that won’t be played with.) He picked out a sprinkler to play in, a sand toy, and a “big” blue ball (and a green one for Joseph).

Rank is being pulled here regarding the sand table/area. Mom wanted it on the back porch, so that’s where it was initially set up. HOWEVER. All 100 lbs of sand is now making its way down the hill. *My* idea (which is on its way to being implemented) is to toss a box together, line it with one of Dad’s old tarps, and put the sand table dead center. Oh, and periodically refill the table with new sand (until the box is full). Doesn’t that sound just AWESOME??!!??

Mom also wants a snapset pool on the back porch. It ain’t happenin’. We have a few spots in the yard where a pool can be safely set up – surprisingly not far from where the sandbox is going to be. The picnic table is getting moved, a clothesline WILL be set up if I have to plant the poles myself, along with a slight reconfiguring of the side porch.

I have powertools and I’m NOT afraid to use them.

But? this will have to wait for another day since the “thorn in my side” and the pinched nerve in my tailbone are competing for attention today.

Good times, goooooood times.

No, it’s not what you think.

Today my Daniel is 6 years old. We’re going shopping, to pick out a birthday cake, and to have lunch. After that, who knows? But it’ll be fun.

Catch y’all on the flipside!

The test results were frustratingly normal. Yay, right?

Actually, no.

There has to be SOMETHING causing me to feel this way. Having a normal ultrasound and bloodwork means more detective work. I’ve asked my Dr. to write up a medical withdrawl from school for me…at this point I’ve missed so much classtime that failure is pretty much guaranteed.

This is significantly less than ideal.