I’ve mentioned the universe and its sense of humor before, yes? Please indulge me as I reiterate:
I have a credit card with zero balance. I have a closet that is essentially devoid of anything pretty and new (or that fits properly, truth be told).
You know what that means, right?
I didn’t find a damn thing.
This shirt was gorgeous, but fit weird over the Large Tracts of Land ™, that shirt fit properly and looked good on the hanger, but was completely the wrong color for me. Those pants fit my legs but wouldn’t go around my waist, those panties were REALLY cute but OMG no, that bra fit and was dead sexay but do I have $80 to blow on ONE sexy bra that nobody’s gonna see??!!?? (Because? If I spend $80 on a bra, SOMEbody’d bettah be lookin’!)
Also? Who the hell decided that a sheer, embroidered shirt would look good on a large woman?
Oh, and I absolutely MUST tell you of my Boutique find. Have you ever had a moment where you thought “My dear almighty gawd. I HAVE TO BUY THAT.
If I buy it, I can hide it, and nobody will ever EVER be tempted to wear it in public.”
It’s a public service I’m providing, people!
It was a tank top.
It was a reversable tank top.
It was a reversable tank top made of 100% polyester.
It was a reversable tank top, made of 100% polyester, and had four separate color panels – and the panels didn’t match.
Allow me to elucidate: The front panel of the tank was a stained glass print. The rear panel was solid black. The inside front was a gorgeous floral print. The inside rear? Abstract blocks.
I wish I had a camera phone JUST to show you the true hideousness of this shirt. Indeed, I may return to the store to purchase it.
Nobody should feel like they have to purchase that hideousness JUST because it fits.