The answer is something of a tangled mess.
While I can still depend on having a roof over my head, The Folks are retiring – Mom already has, Dad will be soon. I don’t feel like I have the right to ask them to plunder/pillage their retirement funds to support the 4 of us ESPECIALLY while I go to college, so I did The Only Thing I Could.
I applied for Government Assistance.
I really, truly, sincerely wish I didn’t have to. I spent many hours crying, cursing, and otherwise trying to Make It On My Own. Working outside the home tripped every single panic attack button I’ve got. After I get a routine established with school, I may try again – but it would have to be an INCREDIBLY flexible job, given the fact that my schedule will be changing in accordance with the school schedule.
Part of the deal with applying for gov’t assistance is complying with Child Support Enforcement. Quite simply – I don’t particularly want to smack that hornets nest.
I don’t mind that I’m not getting child support, especially since their respective “Daddies” are absolutely and completely un-involved in our lives. They’re out of state, and any visitation agreement would involve significant travel. Yeah, I know – I shouldn’t worry about what THEY have to pay for, but I do. I remember how expensive it was for us to drive from NC to MI, pay for a hotel room for the weekend, eat, and all the other things that come with an out-of-state visit. I remember how much I absolutely HATED the trip (but y’all already know I don’t travel well, right? Once I’m there I’m fine – but the getting there/back is a KILLAH) and his kids were VERY weirded out by the whole thing.
Anyway, if I don’t cooperate with them, I lose benefits. I’m not exactly sure WHAT I lose, but I’m not interested in punishing my kids by losing more than X amount of benefits, especially when I have so little information for them to go on. It’s been 3 years since I’ve had any contact, and people change jobs/move/whatever.
I DON’T WANNA DO THIS!
Leaving things as they are keeps my anxiety at bay. Right now, I’m /very/ resistant to change, especially where my kids are involved.
On this day..
- Dear Spammers: - 2006
- Stone post III - Epilogue - 2004
- Stone blogging - Day II (Random Thoughts) - 2004
- The moon disappeared! - 2003
- Single guys/dads - help a girl out? - 2003
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