The Grownups: Mommy
I didn’t handle the move to AR very well. As a matter of fact, I didn’t handle it at all. I shut down. Couldn’t get motivated to clean, barely got motivated to cook, only got out of bed to sit in my chair in front of the computer for hours. The only reason I cooked was because I needed to eat since I was nursing. Outside of nursing and diaper changing, I was useless. I had one friend, but she was having marital problems (we talked on the phone, but rarely saw each other). Tig had no idea of how to help me – he was caught up in his own issues. When I realized that I couldn’t lean on him in any way shape or form, I collapsed further. This lasted for the better part of a year.
Toward the end of that year, I started waking up again. It was a slow process. The house was in a constant state of “trashed” because we didn’t know how to organize the stuff we had. The inability (mine) to toss/donate inappropriate kids toys didn’t help a whole lot either. I got the kitchen and bedrooms under control (two of the easier jobs) and then slowly inched my way toward the monumental task of the livingroom.
The Grownups: Daddy (from my point of view 
)
He did the best he could, all things considered. He went through a LOT of changes while we were together, and he is a man that doesn’t “do” change well. Although he’d had male “role models” in his life, I don’t think he wanted to pattern himself after any of them. A large piece of the puzzle wasn’t found until after I left: Asperger’s Syndrome. He was fundamentally incapable of making a normal “connection” with another person.
The fact that I found out after the relationship went kaBLOOIE leaves me with a lot of questions. Had I known about it, would I have gotten pregnant? (probably) Would I have expected the same things from him? Would I, would I, would I. It drives me crazy sometimes.
He is staying out of Dan’s life. They haven’t seen each other since the day I left. There are days when this bothers me profoundly, and days when I’m glad he’s not putting us on the visitation roller coaster.
Daniel is another incarnation of his father. Already, they have the same favorite foods (TOAST! mac & cheese, hot dogs, pot pies), hate hair-brushing/haircuts, and prefers nudity above all things. He also has the distinct talent of being able to blink the MINUTE you click the shutter on a camera. Like his father before him, full-on pictures of Dan’s face are a rarity in this house.
Reason 100000001 for staying with my parents: At least Dad gives him *some* kind of male presence in his life.