is where you’ll find me these days. My few bastions of IRL adult conversation have withered and faded. They move, they get busy with their own families, I get busy with MY family….you know how it is.
Speaking to other adults gets more and more difficult. I find myself in “Mommy” mode even with them. Or worse, I go off into academia, leaving them blinking and trying to escape making promises of future get-togethers. Striking up conversations with strangers on IM is strained at best. I can’t think of what to say, how to say it without feeling like I just interrupted something IMPORTANT going on in their online lives.
Lists of books that I ABSOLUTELY. MUST. READ. are full. The books I check out from the library mostly go unread. I sit down, and the sound of the book spine cracking is a call to pounce! on me from three sides.
The library itself is a voluptuous orgasm of the written word, but is more arid than the Sahara when it comes to meeting someone, ANYone.
I hint to people that I IM on a regular basis that I’d like a real conversation on the phone – not a bleak “How ya doin?” with no tone of voice. I even told one person flat out “Call me, I can’t sit here and type.” The message fell on deaf ears. Later on in another conversation I offered to smack him with a clue-by-four….but he just laughed and called me “cute”.
I’ve looked into taking a night class or two. It’s just not possible right now due to scheduling conflicts and the lack of a babysitter.
Hours were spent last night composing an email to Joe’s father sperm donor, thanking him for this wonderful gift of a child who will be turning a year old in a few weeks. Why didn’t I send it? The fear that he would read it as a sarcastic dig since there’s no tone of voice.
Can you hear me now?
Well hun, you know if i was anywhere near you, i would talk and hang out with you all the time. Hmmm. Im online a lot, if ever you need a conversation, or listening ear. Am sorry you feel the way you do, and i understand and sympathize. I too have been there. But now a days, i find myself closing myself to the world, becoming a hermit, in other words. But i cant complain. im happy. Anyways, There was something of importance i was trying to say/mean, but the medication has messed with mym ind. am sorry.
Luves ya.
Froggie
I know, Froggie–and I love you for it.
You do realize that constantly nagging and pushing at people drives them away. I truley enjoy being your friend but I also believe that your idea and my idea of what we could become is mistaken. Im sorry if you said to call and I didnt but I dont remember that, dont have your number and I really cant afford the phone bill, you understand that as well as anyone else. I hope you get into a better mood soon as I miss talkin to Tink…
You seem to have missed the entire point of this whole post, and focused on the part that specifically refers to you.
And I refuse to take a “happy pill” and get over it just because you’re a clueless ass.
I think you missed my point as well but I will not resort to useless and childish name calling to make you realize it. And if me being honest with you in regards to the way I feel causes that kind of reaction then I indeed didnt have you as a friend in the first place.
It’s all in the tone of voice, baby.
And you’re exactly right. Saying “Call me if you want to talk before midnight” and “I can’t sit in front of this screen another minute” wasn’t forthright enough.
The fact that I misinterpreted your intentions is blatantly, abundantly, crystal clear. Never fear, I shall rectify that problem immediately.