It’s not dark here, but it’s most certainly not well lit. Unfortunately, this territory is all too familiar. I want to throw my things in the van and drive until I can’t drive anymore. That wouldn’t be good for the kids, though…so I stay.
I tried to talk to Dad about how I felt, and he said “You ain’t going nowhere”. While I’m sure in his own little way he meant for it to be comforting, now I’m smothered and panicky.
Sometimes I’m able to slide out of the urge to run by actually planning a trip. It’s not working this time, most likely because the logic part of my brain won’t let me escape the fact that I *can’t* go anywhere. I surf the net looking at travel sites and my logic says “Yeah, it’s nice, but who the hell is gonna PAY for all that stuff? What are you gonna do with the kids while you’re gone?” It gets worse, but I won’t go there.
It doesn’t help that both boys are teething – Dan is getting molars, and Joe is getting more front teeth. They both want to be touching me, sitting on my lap, and a million other sundries that I just can’t stand right now.
*gives you great big hugs* I wish I could make things all better for you. I think you should come down for your birthday. We could have some fun!